Why I Don't Subscribe to SSC or RACK, etc.

The Short Answer –
The terms are too vague and too easily misused.
 
The Longer Answer –
First, an explanation. The above abbreviations are meant to describe different styles of kinky play. SSC stands for Safe, Sane, and Consensual; RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink; and PRICK stands for Personal Responsibility in Consensual Kink. There are others, but these are the ones I see most often.
 
These sound good, right? Safety is important. Being aware of the risks inherent to any type of play is crucial. Taking personal responsibility for one’s actions is vital. And of course, the thing that links them all – CONSENT. Consent is key.
 
But what does any of this actually mean? What effect do these terms have on the people who use them? On how they play? On how they handle mistakes and accidents? What follows are my impressions and interpretations of each. As always, your mileage may – and likely will – vary.
 
SSC
SSC has become the fluffy bunny of kinky play. When someone proclaims that they subscribe to safe, sane, consensual play – and it is often announced in a holier-than-thou manner – what I hear is someone trying very hard to be reassuring. It’s the socially acceptable, mainstream, version of kink.
 
“We’re going to talk about everything. I’m going to use this super soft rope and make sure you’re comfortable at all times. I’m going to check in regularly, and afterward we’ll snuggle and do all the aftercare you need with a fluffy blanket and chocolate.”
 
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of that. Those are all good things if that’s what you enjoy. But the phrase itself always comes off as a bit condescending to me. As if safety can be ensured. As if other, valid forms of play are somehow not sane – I’ve never been able to figure out where the line is on that, by the way.
 
What I do on a random Wednesday night might look extreme to some people. That doesn’t make it less safe or sane than anything else – If I consent to it.
 
Further, what is safe? There is an inherent risk in everything we do. I don’t care how soft the rope is or how fuzzy the flogger. Safety is more than physical. Your safety measures need to take mental triggers into account too and there is no guarantee that you will avoid those altogether no matter what precautions you take.
 
RACK
When I see someone claim to be a RACK player, I see someone with a puffed-up chest intent on conveying how cool, dangerous, and edgy they are.
 
“Look at me. I can suspend someone upside down without a net because I’m AWARE of the risks involved. I don’t do any of that sissy aftercare stuff. But of course I’ll respect your limits and boundaries – probably! Haha. Just kidding. No really, come back. It was a joke!”
 
Again, knowing the risks involved – all the risks – in anything we do is crucial. Some types of play have very specific ways of mitigating those risks (go to any class on fire play, for example). If you don’t know what those are, you have no business trying that sort of play.
 
But simply being aware is not enough for me. I need more. I need to know the steps you’re taking to protect everyone involved.
 
PRICK
To me, PRICK is just RACK’s even more obnoxious, ‘roided out cousin. People who use it are the same people who are proud of how sadistic they are. They are loud about it and treat topping like a competition. Mostly, I think they just like being associated with the word.
 
But again, I want to know more about what personal responsibility means to you. What actions are you willing to take? Will you talk me through an unexpected trigger? Will you call an ambulance if I need it? And do you really think that people who don’t refer to themselves as PRICKs don’t take personal responsibility?
 
Conclusion
As is so often the case, the real key is communication. Phrases like “safe, sane, and consensual” and “risk aware” are fine as shortcuts. But I’d rather talk – in plain language – about what we are going to do and what’s going to happen after. Especially if we’ve never played before.
 
What does safety mean to you? What steps are you taking to ensure it as much as you can? What happens if and when something goes wrong? Be specific.
 
More importantly? Show me. Show me by your actions that you know what you’re doing, that you’re aware of the limitations (yours, mine, and the space we’re in). Be responsible by checking in, check up after, and preparing for the scene (before, during, and after).
 
Vague words tell me nothing. What you do in the moment – and after – tells me everything.