​Seth parked outside a nondescript building in the flats area of downtown Cleveland. Located near the Cuyahoga River, the area had once held factories and warehouses. Now, most of those spaces had been converted to trendy restaurants and bars.
           
Also a dungeon and swingers club. Not that most people saw that, of course. But I knew it was just a couple of blocks away from where we sat. For a second, I actually missed the place. But I didn’t have time to linger on that thought for long.
           
“I’m going to go in here and talk to some people I know,” Seth said as he turned off the car. “But I need to ask you some questions first.”
           
I rattled the cuffs that remained hidden in my sweatshirt. “Nothing like a captive audience, right?” I asked.
           
Seth breathed out slowly through his nose. “Did Paul ever say anything to you about where he might go in this type of situation?” he asked.
           
I swiveled my head to face him. “We didn’t exactly have long, in-depth conversations, Seth.”
           
“You had at least one,” he said.
           
“No, I don’t know where he might be,” I replied.
           
“Any off-the-cuff remarks like ‘if I won the lottery, I’d finally buy that boat I always wanted and sail to the Bahamas’ or ‘I’d gamble it all away in Atlantic City’? That sort of thing?” he asked.
           
“No. Honestly, we never talked like that,” I said. “It was all very vague. Like, the way he talked, I felt stupid for having questions, so I ended up not asking any of them.”
           
“Of course you didn’t,” he muttered. “Just tell me what the fuck you were doing with him in the first place. I’m dying to know.”
           
I blinked at him. “I already told you – I ran into him. It wasn’t planned – ”
           
Seth grabbed the scruff of my neck and pushed my head down until my forehead was about an inch away from the dash. His grip wasn’t tight, but it was firm enough to hold me in place. “This wasn’t the first time you two had gotten together though, was it?” he asked. “How many times had you ‘run into him’ before this?”
           
“I don’t know,” I said and began to cry. “A few. What difference could that possibly make? You’re not in charge of me.”
           
His grip tightened. “Actually, right now, I am absolutely in charge of you,” he said. “And it’s been my experience that this dash is quite effective against even hard heads like you. So you need to start talking.”
           
“Then do it,” I said, swallowing hard. “If you’re going to kill me, just make it quick. Otherwise, I can’t live like this. I can’t live in constant fear.”
           
“Then fucking cooperate with me!” he bellowed as he let me up. “Knock off the smartass comments and work with me! If you don’t think you can do that, it’s back to your apartment with you.”
           
Our matching, dry sense of humor had been the bonding agent in our friendship. And sarcasm had always been my defense mechanism. But that was apparently over. “I’m trying,” I said. “I don’t know what else to say.”
 
He took another deep breath, calming himself before continuing. “Do you know what he’d been arrested for?”
           
“No,” I admitted.
           
“Armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon,” Seth replied. “What possible business could you have with such a criminal?”
           
“I thought he was nice,” I replied and twisted my neck until it cracked twice. “Besides, aren’t you a criminal too? Seriously, what makes you better than either of us?”
           
Seth shook his head and opened his car door. “I am saving you from yourself, and you don’t even realize it.”
           
“Oh yeah? Well I don’t need a hired thug telling me what to do!” I yelled after him. He slammed the door shut and stalked away. It had been a cheap shot, but I’d needed to say something.
           
“Fuck you,” I muttered once he’d disappeared into the building. “I’ll rescue my own damn self. Just get me a blaster, and I’ll kill more stormtroopers than you too.”
           
Okay, that last part probably wasn’t true. I wouldn’t have known what to do with a gun and hated everything about them. But I’d wanted to be Princess Leia since I was a child.
           
I laid my head back and closed my eyes. This was not a trendy area of the Flats. It was rundown and shabby and smelled badly of the nearby river. I wouldn’t miss it and could work up no nostalgia regarding it. I settled in for what I assumed would be a long wait.
 
I thought about what Seth might be doing inside and who else might be there. Was he breaking kneecaps? Threatening lives? I imagined him running out all bloody after some sort of brawl he had just escaped. A hundred action movie scenes swirled around in my head. I alternately cast him in roles usually reserved for Bruce Willis or Jason Statham. The possibilities seemed endless.
           
But less than 10 minutes later, Seth returned looking very dour but otherwise unchanged. “Goddammit,” he muttered as he put the key in the ignition.
           
“What happened?” I asked.
           
“Not nearly enough,” he said.
           
“What happens now?”
           
“We try his house, and you pray that it’s a more effective trip,” he said.
           
I wanted to help. After all, that’s why he had brought me, right? “Is there anything I can – what do I – ”
           
“You can stop talking,” he ordered.
           
He needed to make up his mind, I thought. For once, I was smart enough to not voice my every thought. We rode in silence instead. He didn’t even turn on the radio, and I didn’t venture to suggest that either.  
 
We stopped on a residential street lined with older, sizeable brick homes with small yards. It looked like a neighborhood where people with families and dogs lived side by side with artists and yuppies.
 
“This is where you finally come in, babe,” Seth said as he dug into his jeans pocket.
 
“Okay,” I nodded and glanced at the house we had parked in front of. “Is this where he lives?”
 
Seth nodded ahead of us as he unlocked the cuffs around my wrists. “It’s the blue one up there,” he said. I spotted it through some trees.
 
When he exited the car, I followed suit and met him at the trunk where he searched his duffle bag until he founded what he needed. “I’m sure it goes without saying, but if you try anything – ” He looked up and met my eyes. “Screaming, running, trying to signal someone – you’ll regret it. Is that clear?”
 
“Of course,” I nodded. 
 
“You want to know what I do, well this is part of it,” he explained as we walked. His boot heels clacked on the cement with authority, and I rushed to keep up. “First, look for signs that he might be home. There are no cars nearby, which is our first clue.”
 
We reached the house and he continued confidently toward the back door. Meanwhile, I glanced around to check for anyone who might have seen us. There was no one around. By the time I had finished, he had made it to the garage.
 
“Nothing in there either,” he continued.
 
At the back door, he listened for a moment before kneeling down and working a metal stick in the lock. “Is that how you got in my place?” I asked.
 
“Sure is,” he said as the door popped open. Again, he paused and listened while gently closing the door behind us.
 
We had entered a basic kitchen. A small, formica table sat off to our left with four chairs. Nothing was on top. To our right were the appliances and cabinets.
 
“Do you feel that? The stillness?” Seth asked. “It’s more than quiet – a house has a different feel when it’s occupied. Doesn’t mean he isn’t hiding somewhere of course.”
 
I knew exactly what he was talking about, but it surprised me to hear him talk in such a way. About energy and whatnot. He’d never struck me as spiritual. “Right,” I said.
 
“I’m going to check the upstairs,” he continued, then pointed toward a doorway and stairs going down to our left. “You check the basement. Same warning as before – ”
 
“I’ll be good,” I said.
 
Seth continued to eye me suspiciously. Neither of us seemed to know what to make of the other. “What’s wrong?” he asked.  
 
“Nothing. I don’t know – everything,” I said and felt the tears threaten a return. “Never mind. I just – does this mean we have a truce?”
 
“We do as long as you do what I tell you to,” he said and disappeared down the hall toward the second floor.
 
It was as far apart as we’d been yet, and it occurred to me how easy it would be to simply slip out the back door, down the street, and then … where? How? Nope, not worth it. Instead, I moved down the stairs as if on auto-pilot, compelled by sheer self-preservation.
 
The stairs opened up onto something that looked like it had been intended as a rec room. In the 1970s. There was dark wood paneling, a brown couch with a long, low table in front of it, and a television on a rolling cart that had a combination DVD/VCR below it, and several DVDs.
 
That was the center of the room. Behind the television was a pinball machine on the left and then a large, empty space. As if Paul had intended to install a billiard table or dart board and never gotten around to it. Behind the couch were several clear plastic tubs with red and green lids. Only some of them looked to be Christmas decorations. More likely, there had been an after-holiday sale.
 
“Jesus, where the fuck do I start?” I muttered. Some papers strewn across the coffee table caught my eye, and I decided to start there. The top sheet had a list of internet passwords and the one next to it held … my phone number. In my own writing. I’d given it to him the last time I’d seen him.
 
Son of a bitch.
 
But if he had bothered with passwords, that meant there was a computer somewhere. I searched the immediate area, even between the cushions of the couch in case it was a laptop, but without success.
 
And then I saw it. In the corner, next to the plastic tubs was an old relic of a desktop. The monitor was huge and the base still had slots for floppy discs. I shook my head. No way that thing had internet access. Why have it at all?
           
Nothing nearby held any promise, and I turned my attention back to the coffee table and then the tv stand. Nada. Zilch.
 
Finally, I glanced through the tubs, knowing I wouldn’t find anything, just in case. But it was mostly Christmas bulbs, some of them antiques. “There’s a guilt trip coming from someone for leaving these behind,” I muttered.
 
In another were Easter and Halloween decorations. Some of those looked old as well, and I suddenly wondered if Paul had kids. It seemed the best explanation for a grown man to decorate so thoroughly for so many holidays.
 
Seth’s footsteps sounded above, and my heart raced as I hoped he had been more successful than I had. I was closing up one of the tubs when he came walking down the stairs. No, striding down the stairs. He never merely walked.
 
“Tell me you found something,” he said hopefully.
 
“These are mostly holiday decorations,” I said indicating the plastic tubs. “There are some passwords over on the table, but I don’t know to what, and I doubt that ancient computer over there is going to be any help.”
 
Seth’s eyes widened when he spotted the computer, “Wow – an Athlon. That was top of the line back in the day. Wonder who he stole that from.” He sat down and fumbled around looking for wires.
 
“And you know that?” I asked incredulously. “I’ve never even heard of them.”
 
“Yes, I know that,” he said. “But it’s not connected to anything, even the wall. So I’m guessing – ” He popped the front off the base; it was hollow. “As I suspected, nothing though I’m sure he’s used this to hide something illegal.”  
 
I continued staring at the alien who had just appeared before me. To me, Seth was all tough guy and muscle, not computer geek. “I thought you hated computers and all these ‘new-fangled gadgets,’” I said, complete with air quotes.
 
“Not everything is what it seems, grasshopper,” he said with a wink.
 
“Who ARE you??” I asked.
 
“Never mind that,” he said. “There was nothing upstairs either. He obviously planned to be gone a long time. There are a lot of clothes and toiletries missing.”
 
“So now what?” I asked.
 
He said nothing, just tossed aside the top tub of decorations. It landed with a crash of broken glass, and I was thankful the top was secure enough to remain in place. As he started for one below it, I huddled against the far wall in case he took his anger out on me.
 
And ran straight into a cardboard box I hadn’t noticed before.
 
“Where do you think you’re going?” Seth demanded.
 
“You’re scaring me,” I said, my voice shaking. “And I’ve looked everywhere down here. I don’t know what else I can do!”
 
He strode toward me and started yelling. “I want you to turn back time! I want you to not be so fucking stupid!” He took a deep breath and though he appeared calmer, his words were no less chilling. “Since neither of those are an option, I will make you pay for this yourself, one way or another, if we can’t find him. Is that clear?”
 
I nodded wordlessly and realized the box had popped open. Inside was old billing statements. The top one had Paul’s social security number. I was agape for several seconds before I held it out to Seth.
 
“Would his social help?” I asked.
 
“No, we have that,” he replied. “Didn’t bring up anything.”
 
Tossing the bill back in the box, I continued rifling through the stack until a set of credit card bills appeared, the most recent from only a couple of months prior. “Any chance this is still good?” I asked. “Or that you know what to do with it?”
 
In theory, I knew a person could be tracked by credit cards. In reality, I had no idea how it worked.
 
Seth snatched the bill from me. “Let’s find out,” he said and drew his phone out of his pocket.  
 
“Who are you calling now?” I asked quietly. He just glared at me until someone picked up on the other end. He gave whoever it was the numbers and waited, his gaze still fixed on me.
 
“Son of a bitch,” he said after a couple of minutes. Pulling a pen from somewhere in his coat, he scribbled down whatever he was being told. “I’ve got it … no, I know where it is … I owe you … we’ll work out terms later … okay, keep in touch.”
 
He snapped his phone shut and spread his arms. “Seems our friend took on a new identity but didn’t bother with new credit cards.”
 
“What does that mean for us?” I asked.
 
Seth turned to head up the stairs. “Means we’re going to Vegas, babe.”
 
I rushed after him. “How are we getting there?” I asked.
 
Once we were in the kitchen again, he turned and looked at me as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “We’re driving,” he said. “I always drive.”
 
Well, that explained less than nothing, I thought.
 
“Do you mind if I raid the cabinets first?” I asked. “My stomach finally woke up.”
 
“Make it quick,” he said.
 
The refrigerator had nothing but some rapidly aging condiments and some bottled water. I grabbed some of the bottles and checked the freezer. Vegetables, a pizza, and a box of Girl Scout Cookies. I grabbed the cookies. One of the cabinets had a box of cereal and I nabbed that last.
 
Seth gathered the waters, made sure the door was locked behind us, and we made our way back to his car. I thought we looked like the pettiest thieves ever, and was grateful when I didn’t see anyone around.
 
Keeping one bottle of water for the front, Seth tossed the rest in back. The cereal joined them, but I kept the cookies with me.
 
“We can get fast food once we’re on the road,” he said as he started the car and pulled away from the curb.
 
“Okay,” I said. “Can I ask what you wrote down in there?”
 
“I got his flight number and what hotel he’s booked in,” Seth replied and glanced up at the sky. “His plane doesn’t take off for a few hours, he has a long layover in Chicago, and a storm is coming in. I’m hoping to get a jump on him. It won’t be that bad if we take turns driving.”
 
“Oh, cool.” Most boring response ever, but what else was there. “So, why don’t we just get our own tickets for the same flight and intercept him at the airport?”
 
“First of all, you don’t have any money,” he said. “Second, I’m not buying any last-minute flights that no one is going to use. And finally, I don’t want anyone tracing either of us to Vegas. Let him get there, think he’s gotten away with it. He’ll get complacent and make our jobs that much easier.”
 
“Okay,” I shrugged.
 
He glanced over with a cheesy grin. “Is that all you have to say?”
 
All of this seemed so natural for him, and I still didn’t understand how he could take it all in stride the way he was. “I don’t know – this is all new for me,” I said. “I suppose you’d prefer a ‘yes, Sir’ huh?”
 
Seth feigned mulling it over by wagging his head. “I could get used to that.”
 
“Don’t count on it,” I told him.
 
We stopped at a light near the highway, and he reached into his back pocket where he’d put the handcuffs earlier. For a moment, he simply held them.
 
“What are you doing?” I asked.
 
“Debating,” he replied. “I can’t take any chances, not while I’m driving.”
 
“So I didn’t prove anything to you in there?” I yelled. “It was all for nothing?”
 
“It’s not only about you running,” he said as the light turned green. He tucked the cuffs under his leg. “It’s about whether you’re going to try something else and minimizing my risk.”
 
“What do you want me to do?” I asked. “What more can I do to prove myself?”
 
He glanced over with an eyebrow arched. “Put yourself in my position,” he said and pointed toward the backseat. “You got one thing right. One and a half if you count stocking up on provisions back there. That’s not a pattern.”
 
“You haven’t given me a chance to establish a pattern,” I said. “If I was going to try anything, it would have been when we were separated before!”
 
“I don’t buy that for a minute,” he retorted. “I think you’re biding your time and acting in your own self interest until you see the right opportunity.”
 
“That’s – that’s not true,” I said.
 
“No?” he replied. “I know people, and I especially know criminals.”
 
Tears stung my eyes, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop them. “I – I am not one of your criminals,” I said. “Is that – is that what you really think of me?”
 
“Let me guess,” he continued. “Right now, you’re telling yourself that this is was just a one-off, that this isn’t who you really are. Well, I think it is. I think you’ve been waiting for the right opportunity for a long time, and finally found it.”
 
“Just playing a long game? Seriously?” I said. “You really think I’m that devious?”
 
“That’s what I’m trying to find out,” he said and pulled into a fast food restaurant. “What do you want?
 
“I don’t care.” I crossed my arms and stared out the window.
 
“You need to eat something,” he replied. “I won’t let you starve yourself.”
 
“I wasn’t trying to,” I said. “I just literally don’t care.”
 
“Okay, so one kids meal with extra tomatoes, right?” he asked. There were two cars ahead of us in the line.
 
I looked over at him, and he actually winked at me. “What are you talking about?”
 
“I’m talking about you acting like a child again,” he said. “Plus, I know you hate tomatoes. I was playing with you, trying to lighten things up.”
 
After calling me a criminal? That was rich, I thought. We’d been together a total of 12 hours, if you counted the previous evening and he hadn’t given me an inch yet. Even at Paul’s house, he had been suspicious.
 
We got through the line and he handed me the bag. He’d gotten two of the exact same thing, so I handed him his burger, then picked at my fries.
 
“Are you mad because I’m right or mad because I’m wrong?” he asked once we were on the highway. He was already halfway through his meal while I had managed to eat only a few fries.
           
And while there had been some truth to his words, I didn’t know how to prove that they hadn’t been entirely accurate. Sure, I had considered a couple of escape plans – and dismissed them just as quickly – but not because I was waiting for a better opportunity. I had stayed because I wanted to see this through.
                       
“Maybe fuck you,” I said.
           
“Fine. Have it your way,” he said. “Wouldn’t be the first time I drove someone who didn’t want to talk to me.”
           
“Ever wonder why that is?” I snapped.
           
“I know exactly why that is,” he retorted. “I make people take responsibility. For their debts, their promises, and their crimes. It’s not a real popular profession.”
           
My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn’t yet eaten real food. I reached for my own burger. “You know, I’m trying to trust you too here, and it’s not any easier,” I said. “Have you stopped to consider that?”
           
Seth glanced over at me and then back at the road. Then he glanced at me again, even more confused than the first time. “Are you serious?” he asked. “Because my cards are all on the table here, doll. My only motivation is to get my goddamn money back and secure your help with that. That’s it’s. No hidden agenda, nothing up my sleeve.”
           
“And what happens when I’m no longer useful to you, huh?” I asked.
           
“I told you. I can help you get set up somewhere, start over, but only if you work with me,” he said. “What that looks like and how that plays out is entirely up to you.”
           
“Right,” I muttered and returned to my burger.
           
We continued for several minutes in silence, until Seth finished eating and I was nearly finished myself. He tossed his wrapper in the bag and looked over at me. “When you’re done there, can I trust you not to try anything?” he asked.
           
“Does it even matter what I say at this point?” I replied.
           
“Promise me, and I’ll take you at your word,” he said.
           
“I promise,” I told him.
           
He took the cuffs from under his thigh and tucked them into his back jeans pocket.  

I jerked awake to find dim, early morning light shining through the blinds in front of me. My head felt foggy, disoriented by my inability to move or speak.
 
Oh. That’s right.
 
Maybe Seth was still asleep. Maybe I could slip out of the ropes without waking him up.
 
Seth moved into my line of vision and ripped the tape off my mouth. So much for slipping out of my bonds. “Feeling rested?” he asked.
 
“Not really,” I replied as I stretched my jaw. At some point during the night, he had removed his shirt and jeans. He’d apparently slept only in his shorts, and I’d been completely unaware. I took the opportunity to allow my eyes to linger on his lean, muscled torso.
 
“First I shower, then we talk,” he said.
 
My libido wasn’t the only thing awake. “Can you untie me first?” I said hurriedly. “I really need to pee. I mean it.”
 
Seth rushed back to my side and pulled back the covers. “Oh. Sure,” he said.
 
My arms were numb and I shook them out as I rushed to the bathroom. My legs, though weak, were at least able to support me.
 
When I exited, Seth was hovering just outside the door. Still shirtless. It was hard to tell how ripped he was when he was clothed. He didn’t look like a body builder or anything. But the sight of him in this state was distracting despite the circumstances.
 
“Jesus, do you like to watch or something?” I asked. 
 
“I needed to be sure you wouldn’t run,” he said. A hand on my back guided me gently yet firmly back to the bedroom.
 
“You know, I’m not quite the flight risk you seem to think I am,” I snapped.
 
“And what reasons have you given me to believe that?” he retorted.
 
“Have a little faith,” I suggested. “You haven’t even given me a chance. I mean, you could try taking me at my word.”          
 
“Maybe later,” he said with another chuckle that signaled he was not amused. “For now, it’s back to handcuffs for you. Get on your knees on the bed.”
 
“What the fuck?” I screeched.
 
“I’m trying something different,” he said and tilted his head toward the headboard.
 
My headboard was wrought iron with several vertical bars running along the length of it. Another, horizontal, bar ran along the bottom, while the top was made up of a series of bars in curlicue designs. I’d bought it years earlier, at a significant discount, precisely because of the bondage potential.
 
Seth locked one cuff around my left wrist, then wrapped the short chain around a bar going along the top of the headboard before locking on the other cuff. I could move my wrists side-to-side a few inches, but nothing more.
 
“For someone who has always said that this, quote, isn’t your thing, unquote, you certainly are insistent on doing it,” I spat out.
 
Seth draped an arm over the top of the headboard and leaned in close. “You know what ‘my thing’ is, babe?” he asked. “Not getting cheated out of a small fortune that I worked my ass off for. That’s my thing.”
 
“Worked!” I yelled at his retreating form. “I doubt that. More like you got lucky at a couple of hands of poker!”
 
Seth paused mid-stride and grabbed his knife from the dresser – it was closed now – and stuck it in my mouth. “If you drop this, or I find teeth marks on it, there will be hell to pay. Nod if you understand.”
 
I nodded.
 
And with that, I was more convinced than ever that this was about punishment. I’d been with dominants like him before, and they were all arrogant and insufferable.
 
More background. I’d been a member of the local kink – or BDSM – community for almost 10 years. I’d been out for almost a year, however, due to lack of finances. And a bad breakup. I’d told Seth about my interests when we’d met and he’d looked at me like I was crazy.
 
Maybe we had more in common than I thought.
 
Seth returned, steam still surrounding him, his hips encased in a towel and hair still wet. My focus disappeared, and I nearly dropped the knife. Thankfully, he took it from me before I did. “You’re coming with me,” he said as he inspected it.
 
“I what?” I shrieked. “What are you talking about?”
 
Seth lifted the handcuff key from the dresser and slipped it into one of the cuffs. “I’m willing to bet that our mutual friend has skipped town,” he said. “It wouldn’t be the first time. I want you to help me find him and get my money back. In exchange, you’ll get a cut and I’ll help you start over somewhere new.”
 
By the time he was finished, I was free. And he had sounded legitimately reasonable. This wasn’t the fake calm he’d shown me earlier that had barely concealed his rage. He was serious.
 
“What do you mean by ‘somewhere new’?” I asked as I rubbed my wrists. They were raw already and still bore marks from the ropes. “Why can’t I come back here?”
 
“I suppose that’s an option,” he said with a shrug. “I just assumed you’d want to start over somewhere else is all.”
 
Where was the anger? The frustration? Suddenly, Seth was a different person, closer to the person I knew most of the time. “I mean, I do have a life here, you know?” I said. “A family, friends, a job.”
 
“Right,” he nodded. His anger seemed to be making a comeback. “More like you have a mother you can’t stand, a dead-end job which is what? Your third in less than a year? And as for friends, who can you really count on besides Christine?”
 
Two of those things were undeniable, but the third – “I have friends,” I said weakly.
 
Seth nodded toward the bathroom. “Go shower and then pack,” he said. “I’ll make us a quick breakfast, and then – ”
 
“Wait a minute!” I yelled. “Don’t I even get a chance to think about this?”
 
“Sure,” he said, hands on his hips as he advanced on me. “But consider this as well. If I leave you here, it will be chained to the bed and gagged. Maybe I’ll leave your phone nearby. With whatever battery life it happens to have at that point. And then, once you manage to ungag yourself, you get to figure out just how ‘reliable’ the voice recognition is on your phone. If it’s still on. Or you scream until someone – maybe – comes to your rescue. Face it, Dani. I’m your only option here.”
 
“I – I wouldn’t let you do any of that,” I said. My voice shook, ruining the bluff. He would have said it was a tell. “I’d fight you.”
 
“Really? How’s that going for you so far?” he asked.
 
He’d driven me into the corner between my dresser and the wall. I shoved him backward. “Let me by,” I muttered and headed for the bathroom.
 
“I’m just making sure you have all the information you need to make an informed decision!” he called after me.
 
“Fuck you!” I yelled back, and slammed the bathroom door shut behind me.
 
Seth didn’t come after me. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. I just wanted the entire ordeal to come to an end. And whether I went with him or stayed, that didn’t seem to be an option. So I turned on the water, sat down on the edge of the bathtub and simply cried. Out of frustration, out of guilt, and out of anger that every word Seth had uttered had been true.
 
I hated my receptionist job. I should have been working as a legal assistant or even a paralegal. After all, that’s what I had trained as. But I’d been fired so many times, I had taken the first job I was offered. I was behind on my mortgage and behind on my utility bills. I owned my car, but it needed work I couldn’t afford. Worse, I’d been caught speeding so many times that if I got caught again, I could go to jail.
 
But a new life – with Seth? There was too much uncertainty. I didn’t know where we might end up, or what such an arrangement might look like. Would he keep me in handcuffs all the time? And since when did I object to bondage?
 
Goddammit.
 
I got undressed and stuck my head under the spray to give myself the appearance of having showered. But the towel wasn’t big enough to go all the way around me and not leave me exposed. Add being overweight to my list of problems. I gathered my clothes in a bundle in front of me and rushed back to my bedroom where I closed the door.
 
Seth’s clothes and boots were gone from the floor, but his knife and other detritus remained on the dresser. As I put on clean clothes, I very briefly considered pocketing the knife. But what good would that do? He’d only get it back from me, and I’d end up in worse trouble than I already was.
 
A knock sounded at the door and it cracked open. “There’s eggs if you want some,” he said from the hall. I noted that he didn’t try to peak in. He certainly picked the oddest times to be a gentleman.
 
I pulled a sweater over my head and buttoned my jeans. “You can come in,” I told him. “But I’m not hungry.”
 
Seth slipped inside the room and put his hands in his pockets. Later, looking back, I would realize that this was the moment I decided to go with him. It was the small kindness of privacy – not to mention the thoughtfulness of cooking – that had won me over. Not the threats.
 
“You should eat,” he said softly. “I don’t know when we’ll get another chance.”
 
I pulled a large suitcase down from the top shelf of my closet as if I’d intended to go with him all along. “Is that your new plan?” I asked. “Starve me to death?”
 
“I find that days like this can be extremely unpredictable,” he said. “Best to eat when you have the time.”
 
Unsure I wanted to explore the particulars of that sentiment, I pointed down at myself and the size 18 jeans that barely fit. Fucking women’s clothes sizes. I had size 14 ones that fit better. “I’m not exactly wasting away here. I’ll be fine.”
 
Seth gave a tiny nod, obviously smart enough to not comment on a woman’s weight. “If you have a birth certificate, social security card, and driver’s license, bring them,” he said.
 
Despite the perpetual state of disarray in which I kept my condo, such documents were actually within reach. “Social security and driver’s license are in my purse,” I said and indicated the guest room next door. “Birth certificate is in there.”
 
Seth stepped aside even though he hadn’t actually been blocking the door. “Go ahead.”
 
A short, plastic storage unit with three drawers sat in the closet. In one of the drawers was old family photos I didn’t dare think too much about in that moment. In another was abandoned art supplies for hobbies I was never going to take up again. In the bottom, however, were important papers including the title to my car, mortgage documents, and my birth certificate.
 
“Why do I need this?” I asked as I handed the sheet to him.
 
“I don’t want it,” he said and nodded toward the suitcase. “Put it with the rest of your stuff. And you need it in case we need to change your identity.”
 
“Oh,” I said. He’d said it as if he did this all the time, as if all of this was normal. Maybe it was for him. But it suddenly hit me that I was about to leave everything for a man I barely knew. I pulled some shirts from a drawer, along with a couple of sweaters, and started to cry again.
 
“Don’t expect tears to get you any sympathy from me,” Seth said. “And hurry up.”
 
“I wasn’t expecting sympathy,” I said as I swiped at my eyes. My voice rose as I continued “I’m having normal, human emotions. Remember those? So would you mind just giving me a minute?”
 
“Every minute we spend here is another minute Paul has to get away,” he retorted. “So no, you don’t get a minute. Get your ass packed. Now. Any more delays and I swear on my mother’s grave you will be riding in the trunk.” He turned to leave but paused. “And if you have one of those hooded sweatshirts with one big pocket in front, wear it instead.”
 
I did, in fact, have one of those sweatshirts, but couldn’t imagine why he’d want it. And if I lied, how was he going to know the difference? Shit, he’d know. He’d see it on my face, go through my stuff, something. I threw the sweater I’d been wearing into the suitcase and found the sweatshirt. A few more items went in and then I closed the zipper.
 
Dishes clanged together in the kitchen, and I assumed Seth was finishing up his breakfast. I rolled the suitcase into the living room and found my purse sitting in one of the chairs. Finally, I could get back to my phone, I thought, and started rooting around for it. Meanwhile, Seth returned to my bedroom.
 
“Where’s that – there it is,” I heard him mutter. Seconds later, he emerged with a large gym bag that held all my kinky toys hoisted over his shoulder. It held plenty of rope, some leather cuffs, a couple of collars, floggers, paddles, even two instructional books on bondage “Jesus, this is heavy. Do subs usually have this much stuff?”
 
“A sub is a sandwich,” I told him. “Submissives are allowed to have whatever they want.”
 
Seth shook his head and pointed at my phone. “You’re not taking that.”
 
“What? You’ve got to be fucking kidding!” I yelled.
 
“First of all, I don’t want you alerting him,” he said as he snatched it away from me. “Second, if it’s on, you can be traced by the GPS. If you intend to make a clean break, you need to disappear.”
 
“So keep it and leave it off, but – ”
 
“What would be the point?” he countered. “I’m not going to let you use it. It might as well stay here.”
 
“Why are you allowed to have a phone then?” I asked.
 
He held up the old, flip style phone he’d used for as long as I’d known him. “No GPS,” he said.
 
It was my turn to be incredulous. He was going to say anything to get his way and deprive me of even basic comforts. “And why are we taking my toys?” I asked instead.
 
Dropping it onto one of my chairs, he began rooting through it. He looked impressed. “Some of this might come in handy,” he said. Then he winked and held up a leather wrist cuff. The leather was padded with a red strap over black. “These are actually nice.”
 
One of the many reasons I’m broke, I thought. “I’m aware,” I said out loud.
 
“Besides, in the very likely event that you don’t return, do you really want all this getting into someone else’s hands?” he asked.
 
Honestly, I didn’t care. I wanted to move on to the next step in his plan.
 
“Do you want your mother finding it?” he continued.
 
“No,” I stated adamantly. “No, I do not.”
 
Seth glanced around the place, mostly satisfied that there was nothing else to be done there. “Last thing – do you have any cash lying around? We can stop by the bank later too so you can make a withdrawal. You’ll need cash instead of – Jesus, do you even have any working credit cards at this point?”
 
I had a couple of store cards that I hadn’t dared try to use in months. Otherwise, I had received past due notices on all of them. “Fuck you,” I said. “And I’m probably overdrawn after last night anyway. I ended up spending more than I expected to.”
 
Neither of us moved, but the entire energy of the room shifted then. Whatever fragile peace we had created in the past few minutes had vanished, leaving an angry vacuum. “Where were you last night?” he demanded.
 
“I – I was out with Christine,” I said. “It had been awhile and with payday coming up tomorrow – ”
 
“Oh, you thought there was a payday coming alright,” he snarled and nodded slowly as he advanced on me. “You were celebrating, weren’t you?”
 
I swallowed hard, certain my face would give away any remaining secrets. Tears stung my eyes. “I – I promise that’s not how I was thinking of it,” I said.
 
“No?” he asked, still advancing. I ended up backed against the wall next to my front door. “You didn’t spend the night checking your phone every five minutes, anxious to tell Christine the good news? Tell me, babe – did I enter your thoughts at all?”
 
His tranquil exterior hid a well of rage that anyone farther away than I was would have missed. I hadn’t been so afraid since the previous night. “I told you,” I said. “I didn’t think he’d actually go through with it.”
 
“But you were expecting a call,” he prompted.
 
“Either way,” I told him. “I thought he’d at least let me know what he had decided.”
 
The slap came so fast, I hadn’t even noticed his arm moving.
 
“For all I knew – ” I gulped again and spoke breathlessly as I recovered. “For all I knew, he was going to work with you – make some sort of arrangement.”
 
He hit me again. 
 
“Stop, please,” I whimpered and held my hands up as if in surrender. “Just stop – ”
 
Seth turned away and hoisted the toy bag over his shoulder along with a small duffle of his own that I hadn’t noticed before. “Let’s go,” he said. “It’s actually painful watching you try to lie.”
 
I grabbed my coat, purse, and suitcase and noticed Seth had dropped my phone onto the dining room table. I left it where it was, and nabbed my keys instead. For what purpose, I wasn’t sure. “I wasn’t lying,” I said as I followed him down the hall.
 
Seth paused but didn’t turn. “Then you’re lying to yourself,” he said and continued.
 
We waited silently for the elevator. They had always been slow, but now the wait seemed interminable. Once we were inside, Seth turned to me. “Do you know why I told you about that money in the first place?” he asked.
 
I shook my head. The tears were still close and I didn’t trust myself to speak.
 
Seth chuckled, seemingly amused at his own audacity. “I actually hoped – expected – you to ask for my help,” he said and shrugged. “Even if you didn’t, I was debating whether to offer instead of just disappearing out of town. But no, you had to fuck up everything and do this the hard way.”
 
My heart sank. There was no way I could have known any of that. No way I could have expected his help or counted on it at all.
 
As we reached his car, a recent model black Impala. I glanced across the lot at my own 10-year-old Honda. It had been good to me, and I wanted to say goodbye.
 
“Get in,” Seth said.
 
My attention snapped back to him. He had his trunk open and had tossed everything but my purse into it. There was plenty of room for a body. When I met his eyes, however, he tipped his chin toward the passenger side door. “It should be open,” he added.
 
“Right,” I muttered.
 
I rushed to the side door before he changed his mind and fastened my seatbelt. Seth entered seconds later but didn’t start the car right away. “Put your right hand through the pocket, he ordered.
 
“What? Why?” I sked.
 
“Just do it,” he replied and arched an eyebrow.
 
The moment I complied, he grabbed my wrists and cuffed both of them. The entire process took less than two seconds. “Son of a bitch,” I muttered.
 
As he started the car and drove out of the lot, however, I was overwhelmed by the knowledge that I would very likely never see my home again. And I had no idea where my next home might be. I turned to stare at the building as it retreated behind us.
 
“It’s better if you don’t look back,” Seth said.
 
He was probably right. I didn’t care. I’m a sentimental sap and nothing he did or said was going to change that. “Now you care about my feelings?” I asked.
 
“Consider it some helpful advice from someone who’s been there more than once,” he said. “Otherwise, no, I don’t particularly care about your feelings right now. You’re basically a bounty to me.”
 
“A what?”
 
Seth sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair. Whatever followed was information he was reluctant to share. I’d seen that look on him plenty. “When someone skips out on bail, someone has to go find them and bring the back,” he explained. “I’m one of those someones. I’ve had to go after our mutual friend here twice before this.”
 
That’s how they knew each other, I realized. And it was legitimate after all. “You gonna turn me into the cops at the end of all this then?” I asked.
 
“No. That is not an option,” he stated.
 
I glanced over at him, blinking. There was only one explanation for that, and I was going to make him say it. “Where did that money come from?” I asked.
 
“Don’t worry about it,” he said.
 
“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, laughing. “I was right, wasn’t I? It was poker, wasn’t it?”
 
“Let it go, Dani.”
 
“No, I won’t,” I said. “Because you want to act all holier than thou, like you’re better than me, when I know for a fact you make your money off gambling and beating people up!”
 
We had reached the highway and were headed north, toward downtown. We had missed the worst of rush hour, but traffic was still heavy. “Let’s get one thing straight,” he said. “You know very little about what I do, and that’s by design. All you need to know is that I don’t lie, and I don’t cheat. I came by that money honestly.”
 
“You’re a fucking hypocrite is what you are,” I countered. “You made it sound like – like – ” I struggled to remember what exactly he had said. “Like it was payment for some sort of services or something. Not that you told me what those services were of course.”
 
A wry grin emerged, and Seth tipped his head in a slight shrug. “Depends on your definition of services.”
 
“You’re a liar too,” I said. “And that’s why you can’t bring in the cops. Because you shouldn’t have that money either.”
 
“You’re in no position to judge me, missy,” he said. “I worked for that money. What did you do? You batted your eyelashes at some criminal.”
 
Either way, we had both gambled. And the only difference to our actions was that he could justify what he had done.
...

Author notes - 
Once again, I enjoyed finding the small kindesses. And as Dani says, it's those actions that make her want to go with him. 
One of the additions was Seth's realization that Dani had been celebrating the night before. Whether she thinks of it that way or not, I love that he calls her out on it. And despite her fear of him, she calls him out in the car. This is a pattern for them that really shows itself well as the books progress - no matter what, they can say anything to each other. It was fun to be able to highlight this pattern from the beginning.   

That was a fun night. Light-hearted, stress free. Nothing wild that I would regret in the morning, just enough revelry to make life seem worth living again. Such evenings had been in short supply of late.

So, I strode down the long hallway to my condo with a bounce in my step. I felt good, optimistic even. It had been a rough year, financially speaking, but I had reason to believe that those hard times were about to come to an end. Still tipsy from drinks with my best friend, Christine, I giggled as I wobbled into a wall.

Okay, maybe the bounce was more like a shuffle. But I’d made it home in one piece, hadn’t I? My car didn’t have a scratch on it. Not any new ones, that is.

Things were definitely looking up.

I put my key in the lock and paused to allow myself a wide smile. Everything was about to change. I could feel it.

And then the only thing I felt was someone pulling me through the door. An arm wrapped tightly around my neck, and I could feel the tip of a blade against my chest. “Don’t you dare scream,” a voice said.

Scream? I could barely breathe. But even in my panic, I recognized the voice. It had once played a starring role in several recurring sexual fantasies. But this was closer to a nightmare. I knew what he was after. And what he was capable of.

“Hand over the coat,” he said. “And the bag.” And although he released me, I watched powerlessly as he closed the deadbolt then flattened his palm against the metal door.

“Wh – what do you want?” I asked weakly.

Still blocking my exit, he spun me around so that we finally faced each other. It was Seth alright. All six feet, five inches of him and solid as a rock. Short brown hair in a business cut and the most inviting dark brown eyes – most of the time. Some of his height came from his special, heeled boots. He called them Cuban heels and wore them constantly. All I knew was that the manliest man I knew wore heels, and that they only served to make him more intimidating.

I shrugged out of the heavy, winter coat and passed it to him. Without breaking eye contact, he tossed it behind him toward two small easy chairs. The purse, however, I clutched closer. There was mace in there, mace he had once told me was a waste of space and money because I would never be able to find it quickly if I needed it.

Seth snatched the bag from me, and I watched it fly off to join the coat. The I-told-you-so seemed to be implied, and I hated him for it.

“We’re going to have a little talk,” he said. The front door – actually, the only door to the place – opened onto a small dining area where a table and four chairs sat. Seth gestured with his knife toward the chair farthest from him. He’d already pulled it out. “Sit down.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked, taking a step back. Perfectly sober now, my only hope was to stall long enough to come up with a plan.

“With any luck, I’m going to figure out how the fuck to get you to do what I tell you to,” he growled and shoved me toward the chair. “Now sit down!”

“Maybe if you didn’t bark orders at me like a dog, you’d – ” His hand across my face prevented me from finishing the sentiment.

While I recovered from the blow, Seth pushed me down onto the chair, then pulled my arms behind me and through the slats in the back. I heard the clink of a short chain and then cold steel around my wrists. Handcuffs.

Unable to sit back completely, I was forced into a slight hunch that I knew wouldn’t be sustainable for long. So I struggled, in vain, to find a more comfortable position and muttered a string of frustrated curses. Meanwhile, Seth took the chair next to me and pulled my ankles onto his lap. He’d pulled rope from somewhere – for all I knew, it was from my very own stash – and tied them together. Then he stood and pulled on the excess rope until my feet hung in the air beneath me, and tied it to one of the rungs of the chair.

I was stuck. And for once, the fear was real.

“This isn’t necessary, you know,” I offered. “All this bondage. We could have had a nice, normal chat.”

A deep chuckle emanated from behind me. There was no mirth to it. “Yeah, I was afraid you might enjoy it too much,” he said. “But I didn’t have any choice, did I?”

I twisted my head, but I still couldn’t meet his eyes. “Consent – consent is key,” I told him.

My head jerked back as he gripped my hair and pulled. The knife returned to my throat. “And I didn’t consent to you stealing my money,” he said.

Tears instantly stung my eyes while my mouth went dry. “Please. I – I didn’t – I didn’t do it,” I panted. “I swear – please.”

Seth released me and took the seat in front of me again. Placing the knife on the table between us, he crossed his arms and placed one ankle over the other thigh. His grin and casual air implied he was about to order his favorite meal from his favorite restaurant. For the briefest of moments, I wondered what that might be and how I might be able to get it for him.

But my attention quickly turned to the knife. The handle extended to what looked like brass knuckles though it was silver. Such a useful weapon, and with so much potential, I thought. And there it was, out in the open.

Catching my glance, Seth cocked his head. “If you can get to it before I can, I will concede this entire operation,” he said. “Barring that, how about you tell me who does have my money. I know it’s not here.”

“I can’t tell you that either,” I said.

Seth leaned forward and looked over his eyebrows at me. He spoke slowly, in a near whisper, but the threat that came with his words was very real. “I want you to think real hard about whoever you’re protecting, Dani,” he growled. “And I want you to be sure that they are worth the things I’m willing to do to you in order to get my money back.”

The tears were both instant and automatic. I hated that I couldn’t stop them, hated how weak I now appeared to be, hated that Seth had to see me like this.

Seth ran the tip of the knife up my thigh and then up around my collarbone. My entire body stiffened while I gasped in breaths. “Are they worth it, Dani?” he asked.

“I’m sorry,” I panted through the tears. “It wasn’t supposed to get this far.”

“I’m sure that’s true,” he said, and he might as well have been reassuring a small child. But his actions belied any sympathy he might have unwittingly expressed. He grabbed my chin, his fingers and thumb digging into my cheeks as the blade moved around my face. Finally, he flicked away a tear with the tip then rested the metal against my temple.

Frozen in place, I snapped my eyes shut. They’d always been sensitive, even at doctor visits. The slightest move toward my eyes caused me to blink uncontrollably. Did he know that? Had I told him and forgotten? Or had he just made a really good guess?

In that moment, it didn’t matter. I’d never been so afraid in my life.

“Look at me,” he demanded.

“I – I – I – can’t,” I wheezed. “Please. I just – I can’t.”

Seth’s only move was to bring the blade closer to my eye. “Then tell me where my money is, Dani.”

I swallowed hard and breathed deeply through my nose. “Paul,” I whispered. “It was Paul Reid.”

My eyes still closed, I could feel the breeze left in Seth’s wake. The relief was glorious, if short-lived. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he bellowed as he stalked around the room. “Of all the people you could have trusted, you chose Paul fucking Reid?”

“I told you,” I said, still gasping. “It was never supposed to get this far.”

Seth turned sharply in my direction, a hint of a smile crept across his lips. “You know, I almost believe that from you. But how stupid do you have to be to trust a low-life like that?”

“Please stop yelling,” I said. “It’s not getting you your money back, and I feel bad enough as it is.”

Seth stalked back up to me and I braced myself to get hit again, strangled, or some combination. None of it happened. “Oh, I feel quite certain that you don’t, girlie,” he said. Collapsing back into his chair, he ran a hand through his hair and splayed his legs out in front of him. I envied his freedom. “What exactly was your arrangement?”

“There was no arrangement,” I sighed. “I ran into him at a Starbucks last week. Can you please just remove the cuffs?”

“Not a chance, girlie,” Seth replied. “There’s $100,000 on the line which means I don’t give a shit about your discomfort.”

He tipped his chin in my direction, apparently as an indication that I should continue. But I was slack jawed. I hadn’t heard an exact amount before. I’d had no idea it was going to be that much. Meanwhile, the metal had begun to dig into my wrists, but I had no reason to believe that a confession would buy my freedom.

“And then you’ll let me go?” I asked.

“Maybe,” Seth said with a wink. “Might depend on what I think of your story.”

My eyes bore into him as I muttered curses aimed at him and his lineage.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he added and pointed toward my bonds. “You did this to yourself.”

We’d have to agree to disagree on that point. While I had been known to tie myself up, I always had a way out. “Fine,” I conceded. “I ran into him. But I swear I wasn’t there to meet him.”

Seth’s face screwed up in confusion, and he held up a hand. “Wait – he doesn’t live anywhere near here.”

He had a point. I lived in a suburb southwest of Cleveland. Paul lived east of the city though I was unsure of the exact location. The snark, however, would not be denied. “Well, see, there’s this new invention called cars that – ”

Seth arched an eyebrow and reached for his knife which once again rested on the table between us.
“I drove east after work one night,” I said with a gulp. “It felt good to just be somewhere different for a couple of hours. Like a micro-vacation. I was reading when he walked in.”

“And?”

“We started talking,” I told him. “I – I might have mentioned my financial difficulties and how it would be nice if certain people would share now and then.”

“Certain people,” Seth said. He shook his head and chuckled. “Like me, for instance?”

“Your name might have come up,” I said sheepishly.

“Why the fuck?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I replied, exasperated. “It was on my mind. You and I had just talked! It’s not my fault he ran with it!”

“Bullshit!” Seth bellowed and slammed his palm on the table. I jumped as if he had hit me. Or might hit me. But he didn’t move to. Only took a deep breath and continued with an effort toward staying calm. “What happened next? What was the follow up supposed to be?”

“He was supposed to call me. Today,” I explained as I blinked back more tears. “My phone is in my purse. For all I know, there’s a message on there.”

Seth’s back was to me as he had resumed his pacing, and his shoulders shook in laughter. “There’s no message, Dani,” he said and turned to face me. “You’re not that naïve, right?”

“No,” I muttered.

My naivete had come in my belief that not getting the call was the worst that would happen.

Seth pinched the bridge of his nose and checked his watch. I had no concept of how much time had passed, hadn’t even thought about it until that moment. Suddenly, I was desperate for a time check but didn’t dare ask.

Seth strolled out of the room, behind me toward my guest bedroom. I craned my neck to try to see the clock on my stove, but there was a wall blocking my view. And then I heard Seth begin his side of a conversation, so I turned my focus to eavesdropping.

“Yes, I know what time it is,” he was saying. “I wouldn’t have called if I didn’t need your help … yes, now … alright, I could use a few hours of shut eye anyway … first thing though … see you then.”
Seconds later, Seth was unlocking the handcuffs. Freedom had never felt so glorious, and I promised myself never to take it for granted again. While I rubbed my wrists, he untied my ankles.

“What happens now?” I asked.

“I get some rest,” he said. “It’s been a long day.”

“I meant, what happens with me?” I countered.

“I will figure that out in the morning,” he said and pulled me to standing by my arm. “For now, you’re coming with me.”

We were headed for my bedroom. Though my legs felt like jelly, I dragged my feet and fought to get away. “Please don’t!” I shrieked. “Please – anything else, but don’t – ” 

Seth stopped mid-stride in the doorway and stared down at me, perplexed. “What the fuck got into you?” he asked.

Blinking up at him, I slunk back against the wooden frame. “You – you were dragging me into the bedroom, you were angry. I thought – ”

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered and shoved me into my room. “I’m going to tie you up next to me so you don’t go anywhere. I haven’t been interested in your body in a long time. Now, get as undressed as you want.”

“More like you never were,” I said as I tossed my sweater aside. My closet door was open, and I reached in for a pair of shorts to sleep in. Then I slipped off my jeans. The long t-shirt I was wearing kept me more or less covered.

“Shows what you know,” he grinned. “You broke up with me before I had a chance to show you.”

A little background. I had known Seth for almost a year and a half. We’d met at an office Christmas party where he’d been the guest of one of my coworkers. He’d looked so out of place, and I had no idea what she’d said or done in order to lure him there. Asking probably would have told me more than I wanted to know about her blow job skills.

Anyway, he’d spent much of the evening talking to me instead. We’d gone out two times after that? Maybe three. And yes, I had ended it when I couldn’t get straight answers about what he did for a living or why he was out of town so much. I had since deduced that he was involved with low-level gangsters of some sort, likely as a loan shark. He called it being in collections, but had never gone into specifics.

Nevertheless, and despite all the red flags, he had fascinated me, and we had kept in touch. I had even met Paul through him, though the reason for them being together had somehow seemed more legitimate. Seth hadn’t gone into specifics about that either.

All I was sure of was that Seth was not someone I wanted to cross. That he was dangerous may have been part of the excitement, but I knew which side of his to stay on.

And yet, here we were.

Seth shoved me onto my stomach on the bed and drew my arms behind me. Straddling me, he tied my wrists together and then went for my elbows, pulling them closer together than I had guessed they would go.

“Seriously, I never meant for things to turn out like this,” I said as he worked. “For what it’s worth … I’m sorry.”

“Of course,” he said. Condescension oozed from every word that followed. “I understand. You were just a pawn. A poor little girl who got taken advantage of. Do I have that about right?”

“You know what?” I breathed. “Every word of that was sincere, but I take it back. Maybe fuck you instead.”

Seth rolled me onto my side and wrapped a hand around my throat. “Let’s get one thing straight, babe,” he growled. “You are not the victim here. And you are not innocent. This mess is entirely your making, and you will help clean it up. I’m not sure how yet, but I am going to make sure you take some personal responsibility for once in your goddamn life. Am I making myself clear?”

I’d never learned how to spit. And for the first time, I found myself disappointed by that fact. “Oh, yes, Sir,” I said. “You bet.”

Scary as Seth was, I knew that if he intended to hurt me – really hurt me – he would have done it already. He would have left me tied to the chair. Or worse. All he actually seemed interested in was punishing me. I could survive that.

“You are a petulant child,” he said and began tying my ankles together. “One more word, and I will gag you for the night.”

When he was finished, I still lay crossways on the bed. “At least help me get to one side of the bed or the other,” I said. “Please.”

Without a word, Seth gripped the rope around my ankles and hauled me to a side. Coincidentally, it was the side I normally slept on anyway, the side with a table and lamp next to it. He opened the top drawer and pulled out a large roll of duct tape. I barely got out the first word of a protest before he’d torn off a long strip and placed it over my mouth. Another long strip was applied just below it and nearly covered my chin.

This was the good stuff too, not easily dislodged by merely working my mouth. Yes, I’d invested in quality duct tape.

“I warned you,” Seth said before throwing the covers over me. Facing away from him now, I could nevertheless hear the thud as his boots hit the floor as well as the soft whoosh as clothing was removed. Finally, I felt him get in on the other side, apparently satisfied that I was secure.

I lay there in the dark, crying softly, certain I would never get to sleep. Equally certain that he might decide that the best way to deal with me would be to either kill me or keep me tied up and simply leave.

Either option seemed plausible. And both seemed to be for the best.

Before long, I heard a soft snore emanating from the other side of the bed, lulling me to sleep. Eventually, I drifted off too.

…

A couple of notes. 

First, I loved making Seth even more brutal in this version. This quality led to what was both the most terrifying moment for me to write and the most erotic - flicking a tear away with his knife. Sounds so hot in my head, but I would be traumatized by that moment alone. I'm with Dani here - don't mess with my eyes. 

Second, despite his brutality, he's not cruel. I love the moment when Dani assumes he's going to rape her and, clearly, the thought hadn't entered his mind. I see him as very pragmatic here. Everything he does has a purpose, and raping her would get him no closer to his money. 

​Can't wait to show you all the rest of the changes!! 

It may seem like a strange choice to rewrite a book that is only a few years old. It does to me, and I'm the one doing it. So, why bother? 

There are a few reasons. First of all, there are aspects of the original that I was never happy with. The whole thing very much reads as a first novel to me. Not bad, but I definitely feel like I've improved since then. Further, I know the characters and their arcs better now. Finally, it took a long time before I could even look at it again.  By the time I put it out there, I was so sick of looking at it that I couldn't see it objectively enough to know how to make the necessary improvements. 

Now I can. 

I had hoped to only have to rewrite the first couple of chapters and be done with it. Of course, that didn't happen. The tone had already shifted, and though the major events remained largely the same, many of the specifics did not. 

Which brings us here. I started this website in order to have a blog, as well as a central place to be able to find my books on Amazon (see the links at the top of the page for each one). But I also knew that I intended to put this new version of my first book out in serial form. Therefore, a new chapter will be released every week. With any luck, it this will not only be a fun distraction for me and existing readers, but it will pull in some new readers as well. 

Happy reading y'all!!