What has that character done to you?

"I'm going to go have dinner and a cigar before therapy." 

I'm on the phone with my best friend. My own words sound foreign to my ears. I am not yet accustomed to these words in this order applying to me. "What has this character done to you?" she asks with a laugh. 

"This character" is Joe Connolly, the lead in my new book - see above link to Pairings. This character is different than my others. He's not based on anyone I know. Sure, he shares some characteristics with various people in my life, but he's not intentionally drawn from any one person. I both long to hang out with him in real life and be more like him. 

Joe's predominant trait is kindness. He's a therapist. He comes from a large Irish-Catholic family. He enjoys what I think of as light kink - spanking, religious play, D/s that focuses on service rather than rules. He enjoys fine wine and cigars. And he's asexual. 

See? Nothing like me. 

But did I start smoking because of him? Sort of. I've been fascinated for a while. And like a lot of people, I love the smell of cigars. I've attended cigar get togethers simply to be around it. So it wasn't a big leap though I have sort of dived in further than I had expected.  At best, he gave me the push and motivation that I needed to explore something new. 

He's also changed how I look at mental health to a degree. It's not a spoiler to say that, when we meet him, his sister has recently ended her own life. The first chapter of the book takes place at her wake. 

My research into people who have lost loved ones to suicide has shown me new ways to empathize and given me new perspectives. Now, when the subject comes up, my ears perk up a little more, and I can almost approach it through his eyes. Obviously, I'm not pretending to know what the actual experience is like. But I do have a greater understanding now. 

And no, he's not why I've started therapy. That has been a long, long time coming. He may have been a factor, but he was one of many.

What has Joe done to me? I guess it's complicated.  He's certainly broadened my understanding on a number of topics. And I think that's what a good character does. They should make us think. They should bring something - or many things, in this case - to the table. 

Write what you know only goes so far.