There are no age limits

A few weeks ago, I decided to take myself grocery shopping. I was feeling out of sorts and very much like I could just sit and watch stupid cat videos on my phone all day. But I also needed a few things, and I knew that getting up and moving around would improve my mood. My compromise to myself was that I would indulge in a few comfort foods such as quality cheeses and a small ice cream cake. 

The cheeses felt like a mature decision. I know what I like and I'm able to spend a few extra dollars to get better than store brand blocks of the basics. Nothing against store brands - they've gotten me through a lot of days and are always an option. But on this night, I felt like branching out. Hell, if I drank more, I might have even paired my choices with some decent wine. 

But I didn't. Instead, I went for the frozen confections. It wasn't my first trip to this particular aisle, but it was the first time that it felt ... weird. Almost like I was doing something naughty. Or at least something I shouldn't be doing. As if the cashier might know that I was buying it just for me and didn't have children or a special occasion. I didn't even have company to share it with.

Later in the week, I mentioned this to my therapist. I told her my choice felt childish. Her response? "There is no age limit on ice cream cake." 

I've been thinking about that a lot since then. It's come to mind as I've decided to indulge a few other pursuits that might be considered immature. 

First off, I went a little overboard regarding Valentine's Day. This one is new for me. I've never been about cutesy stuff, or hearts and flowers. And yet, in the past few years, I have myself collecting stuffies and blankets and reveling in the comfort of it all. 

Plus, I am surrounded by amazing women so why not share the love a little? Target has so much fun stuff in their $1 aisle and in the holiday section that I bought a bunch of candy and small toys and put together little gift bags for those closest to me.  Those farther away got cards and stickers. 

God, that was fun. It may seem silly and inconsequential, but I had fun. And based on the reactions, people are enjoying their little gifts. 

I have also decided to indulge my love of stickers - going so far as to buy special books to put them in and then spending far too much on Etsy for some really fun designs. I was an 80s kid. I used to fill photo albums with the things. It's what we had. Until recently, I had no idea there were options for adults. But again, I could afford to and I did. 

I could probably dig pretty far into why I'm only now starting to feel like comfortable in letting out my inner child. I was "gifted," "mature for my age" and had more adult friends than ones my own age growing up. In a lot of ways, I barely ever felt like a kid. But that's for my next therapy session. Possibly several therapy sessions. 

My point is - I'm able to afford childish things and enjoy them. There's literally nothing stopping me. Nor should it. I'm a big believer in the idea that there are no "guilty pleasure." There are just things you like. And don't we all need things that give us comfort and make us happy?

Apparently, it's time to start applying that to myself.