Putting in the Effort

If you've been reading this blog lately, you know I get a lot of private/direct messages on other sites. I used to ignore most of them, but anymore, I like to play. I like to try to figure out what made someone who is so clearly not someone I want to be with think they had a chance. 

I'm not saying this because I think I'm particularly special or to put myself above anyone else. I just want basic respect and a modicum of effort put into these messages. 

And that, apparently, is where I have set unrealistic expectations. 

I'm not only talking about the men who barge into my inbox, dick in hand, with a "hey hru" or "ur hot". I mean the ones who can't read through a detailed profile and come up with any topic to discuss other than the boobs in the pretty pictures. 

I have a lengthy and detailed profile on one site that asks the reader to answer a specific question if they decide to message me - what was the last movie they saw in theaters. I had to ask one guy three times, in three different ways, to read that far. And then his answer was nonsensical. Another guy said, "that Matrix movie with the word I can't spell."

Resurrections?

"Yeah, that one."

Now, I don't want to shame anyone for not being a good speller or for not having perfect grammar. I'm not that elitist. And yet... why not just look it up and copy and paste? Why not just say "the last Matrix movie"? Like, why tell on yourself that hard and admit that you don't put effort into even the smallest things? Because if you can't do something that basic, I hate to see what sort of effort you put into relationships. 

And this doesn't count the myriad of people - also mostly men - who have little to nothing on their profile and advise that you should "ask them anything." Nope. If you can't put in any work at all, why should I? Again, I don't need a huge amount of detail. A little about you is fine - hobbies, favorite movies, favorite kinks, what you're looking for. Anything. Just give me something to go on. 

Or don't. I don't need any of these guys. But I know they're all scurrying back to their mom's basement or wherever with no understanding as to why they're single or no one is answering their scattershot messages. And I'm here to say it's definitely on them, not me. And not any of the other women they claim to want to communicate with.