Backed Redux … Chapter 12

In spite of the rest – and the first meal in days that didn’t include diner food – Seth decided to stop at another hotel just outside Illinois. We didn’t talk much more about kink, and opted for less weighty matters instead as we headed into Cleveland the following day. It already felt weird to be back, like I was a different person and had been gone for years rather than less than a week. 

Seth’s house was in an older section of Lakewood, closer to several small parks than the lake. Many of the nearby homes featured signs of children – from swingsets in backyards to basketball hoops in driveways. I had never been there, and it wasn’t what I had imagined at all.
 
That included the inside.
           
The back door opened on a spacious kitchen that included a small dinette. There were a few dishes in the sink, but otherwise the room was tidy. As we moved into the rest of the house, I felt like I was being allowed into his inner sanctum.
           
There was no art on the living room walls, no family pictures. Only a puffy couch in dark fabric and a matching recliner. The coffee table was covered in junk mail and flyers from months-old elections. I couldn’t even see a television. I gaped at the space in some awe.
           
“What?” Seth asked.
           
“It’s a little … sparse,” I said.
           
“I’m never here,” he shrugged and headed for the stairs. “I’m going to pack my computer and some clothes. And I’ll bring down some boxes – feel free to go through the kitchen and decide what to take. If you think your stuff is better, we can take it instead. Not much about this place matters to me.”
           
Glancing at the table, his eyes widened. “We’ll need to throw all of this out – I’ll take it out for the trash,” he added. “Ideally, I’d shred it, but – ”
           
“My building has an incinerator,” I told him. “If we go by there, we can throw it all in there.”
           
“Perfect,” he replied.  
           
“What about the furniture?” I asked. It was a little worn, but still in good shape. I hated to think of him abandoning all of it.
           
“Came with the house,” he said.
           
“Do you have to give someone some sort of notice that you’re leaving?” I asked.
           
Seth considered this for a moment. “I’ll get word to Jake somehow,” he said. “Or he’ll figure it out.”
           
He was being vague again and something about the way he mentioned the other man told me I probably didn’t want more in-depth answers. I let it go.
           
Packing what little we could take from the house only took a couple of hours. I took some items from the kitchen, including some pans that were better than mine, but left the dishes and silverware.
 
Instead, we carried empty boxes to the car so we had an idea of how much would fit. Seeing it all together, I realized what a paltry amount was there. But when I mentioned it to Seth, all he said was, “I’ve started with less.”
 
While he took some trash out to the garage, I waited in the kitchen and tried not to be overwhelmed with the enormity of what was in front of us. Rather than focus too far ahead, however, my mind turned to more immediate needs.
 
“I want to explain something,” I told him when he returned.
 
“The key that will unlock the kinky mysteries of the universe?” he asked with barely a grin. “I knew there had to be one.”
           
“No,” I replied seriously. And though I wanted to hold his gaze, I found I couldn’t for long. My eyes darted around the room, only occasionally meeting his as I continued.
 
“That first night, when we stopped because of the snow? I – I turned you down because, well … because the things I wanted you to do to me, you were doing for real. Not in the fun, sexy way I can usually eroticize,” I said. “And I couldn’t get my brain to make the distinction then. And now – now you’re looking at me like you’re the one who’s going to turn me down, and so I should probably be sure to pack the vibrator at my place – ”
 
His kiss cut me off, his grip pressed my wrists to the counter behind me. I’d barely noticed his slow approach.  “If we do this,” he whispered when he let me up for air. “It doesn’t mean anything. We’re not a couple. Nothing changes. Are we clear?”
 
“I don’t care,” I breathed. “I’m not looking for a boyfriend, dude. I just want you to fuck me.”
 
He leaned back and slapped me, not as hard as he had our first night together, but certainly enough to get my attention. “Is that what you want?” he asked.
 
“Not my kink actually,” I said and found I still feared his response.
 
“I had a feeling,” he replied. “But being called ‘dude’ isn’t mine either.”
 
“Noted,” I sighed.
 
One hand gripped my hair tight, while the other wrapped around my throat, and his body pressed mine further against the counter. “That’s more like it, isn’t it?” he growled.
 
“Yes,” I gasped.
           
Writhing beneath him, I ran my hands under his sweater, around his chest and torso as he kissed me again. We undressed each other with a ferocity and eagerness known only to new lovers.
           
Finally, he pulled a condom out of his wallet and pulled me over to the kitchen table. “You still do that?” I asked, shocked. “Keep protection in there?”
           
“You’d be surprised how often it comes in handy,” he replied. Bending me over, he pulled my arms behind my back. Then he held the package in front of me and had me rip it open with my teeth.
           
I had a quick moment to ruminate on how hot I found the entire process before he slammed into me, repeatedly driving me into the hard wood of the table.
           
Yes, with his own wood. I said it – happy?
           
He finished me off with his fingers while I was still bent over, and I screamed as much of the frustration from the past several days as I dared. It wasn’t nearly the catharsis I craved – or needed – but it was a start.
           
“Come upstairs with me,” Seth said. His palms rested next to mine on the table, and his breath was hot on my neck. “We can stay here tonight.”
           
“Okay,” I breathed. I turned to face him and take in the sight of Seth completely naked. Even flaccid, his cock was more impressive than I’d realized. Staring would be impolite, I decided, and snatched up my discarded clothes instead.
           
“Feel better?” he asked and kissed me again quickly.
           
“Yeah. Sleep will help too,” I said.
           
Seriously, self? After the longest dry spell of your life, two cross-country drives, and an intensive lesson on the basics of kink, that’s the best you could come up with? Sad how stupid a good orgasm can make you.
 
“You know you’re already kinky, right?” I asked once we were cleaned up and in bed.
           
“What do you mean?” he yawned.
           
“You want a power exchange with me, and you enjoy rough sex,” I said. “Bad news – if you wanted a non-complicated definition, that’s it.”
           
Seth rolled over on his side to face me. “That was just fucking,” he insisted, eyes narrowed in confusion.
           
“It was also super kinky,” I told him.
           
“If you say so,” he muttered and fell back onto the pillow. I watched as his breathing slowed, and debated whether to reach out to him. Would too much touch violate the not-a-couple agreement we’d made? Or would that only apply later, when we were on the road again?
           
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “You’re not really a thug at all, are you?”
           
In response, he pulled me close to him until my head lay on his chest, and we fell asleep that way.

…

So that happened! 

But first, a note on Jake. He was another character I enjoyed being able to bring in early. In fact, I had always intended him to own property apart from the gym. In the fourth book, Riding It Out, I considered having him own the first house they move into. But it would have caused too many complications, been one more huge issue for Seth and Lucy. Because he absolutely would have known where they lived and would have sent people after them. In the final version, although it was likely he would know where they lived, we never know for sure, and so I could get away with only the possibility that he would send someone. 

And then, I was always disappointed that the sex came so late in the first book. It's supposed to be erotica, there should be more sex. But I couldn't see how to add it before. Here, it's a stress release, nothing more. 

Probably. 

Finally, I absolutely debated whether to leave the line about him pounding her into the wood with his own wood. But in the end, it fit her sarcastic sense of humor. And let's face it, sex is a funny thing to try to describe. So it stayed.